Customer Service*

Thursday, June 22, 2006

NEW YORK -- All Vincent Ferrari wanted to do was cancel his $14.95 per month account with America Online (AOL).

The 30-year-old Bronx resident recently forced to cut down on home expenses, and decided one of the services that had to go was his AOL internet account.

But Ferrari had heard horror stories of how difficult it was to cancel with the internet giant, so he decided to record his telephone call.

The following is a transcript of his call with an AOL representative:

AOL REPRESENTATIVE: Hi this is John at AOL... how may I help you today?
VINCENT FERRARI: I wanted to cancel my account.
AOL: Sorry to hear that. Let's pull your account up here real quick. Can I have your name please?
VF: VF Ferrari.

CLOCK READOUT - 00:30

AOL: You've had this account for a long time.
VF: Yup.
AOL: Use this quite a bit. What was the cause of wanting to turn this off today?
VF: I just don't use it anymore.
AOL: Do you have a high speed connection, like the DSL or cable?
VF: Yup.
AOL: How long have you had that...
VF: Years...
AOL: ...the high speed?
VF: ...years.
AOL: Well, actually I'm showing a lot of usage on this account.
VF: Yeah, a long time, a long time ago, not recently...

CLOCK READOUT - 01:47

AOL: Okay, I mean is there a problem with the software itself?
VF: No. I just don't use it, I don't need it, I don't want it. I just don't need it anymore.
AOL: Okay. So when you use this... I mean, use the computer, I'm saying, is that for business or for... for school?
VF: Dude, what difference does it make. I don't want the AOL account anymore. Can we please cancel it?

CLOCK READOUT - 02:21

AOL: Last year was 545, last month was 545 hours of usage...
VF: I don't know how to make this any clearer, so I'm just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well explain to me what's, why...
VF: I'm not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well, what's the matter man? We're just, I'm just trying to help here.
VF: You're not helping me. You're helping me...
AOL: I am trying to help.
VF: Helping... listen, I called to cancel the account. Helping me would be canceling the account. Please help me and cancel the account.
AOL: No, it wouldn't actually...
VF: Cancel my account...
AOL: Turning off your account...
VF: ...cancel the account...
AOL: ...would be the worst thing that...
VF: ...cancel the account.

CLOCK READOUT - 03:02

AOL: Okay, cause I'm just trying to figure out...
VF: Cancel the account. I don't know how to make this any clearer for you. Cancel the account. When I say cancel the account, I don't mean help me figure out how to keep it, I mean cancel the account.
AOL: Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what anybody's done to you VF because all I'm...
VF: Will you please cancel the account.

CLOCK READOUT - 03:32

AOL: Alright, some day when you calmed down you're gonna realize that all I was trying to do was help you... and it was actually in your best interest to listen to me.
VF: Wonderful, Okay.

*cut and pasted from a Bulletin Board

Oh, Look at that!

Lovely Airah made this awesome template for me. I love it! I can't stop admiring it. Isn't it wonderful? She's talented, and quite affordable. You can have a blog make-over without breaking your bank. Truly.

She has designed templates here, and createda new partnership here.

What's more, she's awfully nice. I intend to have make another one for me a few weeks down the line.

Come on, admire my new template with me.



And on another note...

Cingular Wireless Text Messaging

After investing a good 40 minutes of my precious time trying to find "the link" to send a text message online using cingular wireless online site, this is what I got below:


Read the text below in case you can't see it in the picture.

QUESTION:
What information do I need to send a text message online?

ANSWER:

All you need is your recipient's Cingular wireless number. The additional information you provide—your name and the contents of the message—will be sent directly to your friend's phone.

Well, that makes is perfectly clear what I need to have to send text message online.

I just have one tiny question: Where the f**k is the link to send a text message online? They actually wanted me to rate this answer if this was any help. The stupidity of it all just astounds me!

Added way later:
Here's the poll, because, why not?

There's my old template and my new one below. You get a chance to vote just for fun. :)




New Template:

Old template:

Just My Type of News Vol. 1*

"Stop, I don't want to have to pull out my nightstick."

Now that almost sound dirty. Doesn't it? The whole story here, which I think is funny.

Want a child to say "fuck" and not get blamed for it? Go to Toys R Us and buy the "Elite Operations Role Play Set: Police," includes a nightstick and a utility belt. Oy, it's too late, I think they fixed it already. Drat!

Obesity is causing more and more problem. I know that I don't like to sit next to "a person of size" on the plane. They take more of my space, and it makes for a very uncomfortable travel. Not to mention the wafting aroma when things gets warm inside a plane. I can't stand it if I sweat and detect smell of my own body odor; I refuse to take it from someone else! That would be purgatory. You noticed I didn't quite say hell.

Losing weight is not just for aesthetic reasons anymore. It's about saving money on gas, it's about saving the world by using less fossil fuel. Read about it here.

Since it's Halloween, this news is appropriate. There is NO ghost or other things that go bump in the night. Gasp! Really. Aw, shucks! Take note of my ejaculatory paragraph. What can I say, even Halloween stories repudiating the presence of ghost comes right back to sex.

All these time, I was thinking Ghost Whisperer is a "true" account of Melinda Gordon's life. Why do these people have to come and ruin my shows for me!

Efthimiou, a professor at the University of Central Florida, takes out the calculator to prove that if a vampire sucked one person's blood each month — turning each victim into an equally hungry vampire — after a couple of years there would be no people left, just vampires. He started his calculations with just one vampire and 537 million humans on Jan. 1, 1600 and shows that the human population would be down to zero by July 1602.

What this professor is not telling you is how much fun it is to read about the vampires and company. Just take a look at this discussion going on at The Book Bitches. Truly, this makes for an amazing series of books. I can't wait for the next one to come out.

More than 1 in 3 Americans believe houses can be haunted, a 2005 Gallup poll showed. More than 20 percent of Americans believe in witches and that people can communicate with the dead.

It's all very clear that this person didn't go to see "The Others, and if he did, he's skeptical."

What do people do with all the extra space? Take a look at this mansion.

This is Aaron Spelling's Hollywood Hills 123-room mansion. I wonder what I would do with such a big place when I am not a big party animal. If I have an insane amount of money to buy a home, I'd probably buy one a whole lot smaller than this one. I'd want pretty, comfy, and safe. I'd also want to be able to find my children within 30 minutes of walking from one end to the other. Still, you have to admit, it looks really pretty.

*assuming I will have another "free time" do more. :P