Fight Club Rules of Breastfeeding

I noticed that with each child, my breastfeeding experience are never the same. For example, my daughter would refuse to look at me, even as she breastfeed off me, if I am late to bring her dinner. I kid you not! Imagine a 4 months old baby snubbing you. She was so displeased with me, she absolutely refused to look at me. It's pretty funny. I can still picture it.

My first son would pinch me if I am loud while feeding him. My second son would make a fist and hit me if he's unhappy with the taste of my milk. My third son would bite me if I hum while he is eating. They did other things, but those were unique to each of my children.

My fourth son has now set the laws of breastfeeding. He's 5 months old, getting ready to sit up. He can now support himself on both hands and on his knees. I might have to lower his crib so he doesn't get any brilliant ideas like jumping off the crib when my back is turned.

I have noticed that I am not supposed to read a book while he's eating. When he's feeding, I am to only look at him in the face, exchange smiles and grins. The moment my hand creeps to pick a book to read, he stops eating, look at me and cry really loud. Below is the first warning look I get if I so much as pick up a book to read it.

When you're a mother, you can start to tell what kind of cry your baby gives you.There a cry for pick-me-up-I'm-bored-here, put-me-down-I-don't-want-to-be-held, or I'm-hungry-come-already, or I-don't-want-that-person-near-me. There is a special cry for everything. When I am breastfeeding him and I pick a book, I get the don't-even-think-about-it cry.

That is rule number 1. No reading while I am feeding his royal-diaperness. That's him below, asleep on the floor while playing. I let him sleep there longer because he's so cute asleep.

I am also starting to notice that another rule is emerging into the picture. No talking, or looking at TV. Even when he's asleep and I look up the TV to catch up on my Grey Anatomy, he'll wake up long enough to glare at me.

Also, another big thing. I must never recline while feeding him. This would make him so unhappy he couldn't possibly eat. All those above, plus no one must stand near his head while he eats or he stops eating and cry instead.

These rules were set down recently, and all by a little baby who couldn't say a word. That's power for you!