This is what I see when I see blue jeans.
These are what DW sees:
[/edit Nov. 6]
Ok, ok, now that the air has been filled with a cute fantasy, I’d like to say what really happened.
I’ve NEVER told DW (Darling Wife) what to wear.
All I said was, I once saw my Orchestra director wear blue Jeans (notice not ‘Jeans’, specifically Blue Jeans) and I mentioned to my wife that I just didn’t like the looks of them.
Look, I’m not telling her what to wear; she can wear what she wants. But just as I’m not attracted to trailers to live in, nor do I long for the opportunity to poop at a downtown gas station restroom, it just so happens I – for some reason I do not understand – don’t find BLUE jeans to be appealing. She can wear what she wants. What I’m not going to do is lie and say, ‘Oh my! Now I like them!’ when I don’t, never have. Burlap would look better to my eyes, but that’s just me.
When I pass a store where they have these worn out cut out blue jeans, I often think, GOODNESS, LET ME STOP THROWING THINGS IN THE TRASH, IN 25 YEARS I’M GOING TO BE RICH.
So, now, after 15 years of marriage, just to prove some point, she is wearing them, NOT ONLY because she likes to wear them, oh not at all. Rather, it’s to torture me, because I don’t like them.
I’ve noticed that throughout the years it’s wise if I don’t tell her OTHER things I don’t like, for the frequency of them happening leap through the roof. And, if I do tell her things I DO like, it almost never happens again.
Examples:
‘Wow, I love this particular dish you made. In addition to being nice to me to make a meal for me this week, and I do want to say how grateful I am, I happen to particularly like this combination of ingredients? What do you call it?’
Well, de facto she calls it, ‘I’m going to throw the recipe in the trash and never make it again.’
I actually tested this out, over several months; she made this one dish I liked several times. I would merely say how grateful I was that she cooked, but today it just so happens that such and such was especially pleasing. Sure enough, like the Jews about the Holocaust, ‘never again’.
I started out by telling her that she should wear her hair any way she wanted. So, I guess because she had short hair when I married her, she went through a lot of trouble to grow it out long. One day, blundering away a rook for a pawn, I mentioned, ‘Thank you for going through the trouble to wear your hair long, I really like it.’ Faster than Darth Vader whipping out his light saber to chop in half an enemy of the Emperor, out came the scissors to consign anything longer than two inches to the oblivion of never more.
‘That make up you spent so much time putting on really looks cool.’
Well, to be honest, she’s more refined about that. She’ll wear it when she goes out someplace formal… when I can not attend. I do get to see her wearing make up in photos, specifically those photos when I was working at the time and her sister went in my place.
I do admit she plays piano, which I do like, but only when I’m not in the room. She does play very nicely, and I do enjoy it. Usually she thinks I’m asleep, so I have a chance to listen to it for a while.
Her biggest love in life is reading books. I, however, made the mistake of changing,Hmmm, how can I put this to my advantage?
‘I don’t mind at all if you read books.
To
‘I think it’s great you read books, here, let me buy you thousands of them!’
Now she won’t touch them.
You know, I really like it when she goes shopping…
And I count myself very fortunate that I ONLY tell her she shouldn’t clean up the house so much. I think she thinks I DON’T want her to clean up, therefore she really does quite a bang up job of keeping the floors clean.
Matter of fact, she really is the perfect wife. She never asks me to work, never asks me for things, never complains about how much I sleep, in fact encourages it, she works like the dickens around the house, minding the fifty kids, feeding them keeping our business going, remembering everything I need from phone numbers to where I left my brains. She's attractive, supportive, the perfect wife. She does so much for me, I'm very lucky, thankful, and I count my blessings every day knowing I got more from heaven than any man has any right to hope for.
I like and love everything about her.
Oh crap. I shouldn’t have written that…
*I refused to call this "The Truth" as he suggested. Seriously! A reply to this.
10 comments:
Ha! Love the "perspective".
I'm pretty sure my husband would also have that viewpoint.
Though when he tells me how he likes things done, I simply cannot control doing the exact opposite. I'm sure there's some medical explanation.
Maybe there's a reason couples quit talking after so many years of marriage? :)
My DH would have written exactly the same I think.
He's always saying the same things to me and we've been married for 28 1/2 years.
Cathy
I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful husband who loves me and all that is me.
I'm perfect of course, so it's pretty easy.
Also, I like not being told to do anything. I like that very much.
I hope for a husband for my daughter, one who would love and respect and cheerish her as much as DH does to me, for me.
Ok...now I am going to go scrub my floor because he told me not to clean the floor. :P
He clearly adores you.
You guys crack me up.
Shoshana, I really do love this new blog template :)
Vixen, this new blog template is done by our lovely Airah.
She can be found here
and she has free templates here.
They're worth checking into Ale.
This just reminds me of that Woody Allen movie where a couple was in theraphy. They were asked how often they have intimate relations. [and I am rephrasing as I don't remember the exact wording...but here's the gist of it]
Wife: All the time! About 3 or 4 times a week.
Husband: Hardly ever! About 3 or 4 times a week.
O.M.G.
I just have an epiphany.
Is that why you told me you don't like fellatio Honey!?
And here that one time I took you seriously. Seriously!
Bwaha ha ha ah ha
My husband would have to look up the word "fellatio" to see what it means since being married. He's pretty sure the fine print says something about it no longer being available to him.
the word perfect wife, i always heard from hubby, infact even to cook i dunno! hahahha
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