This is a rant. I am angry. I do not want to be. I resent having to be angry. I know someone said that I can control my emotions. Well, my emotions are too angry to care, dammit!Good Lord! When can one stop helping anyone if every time you help, it cost you? Seriously! I am so tired of always being considerate and giving people a choice, always taking care to make sure that my decisions that might affect other people is never at their expense.
What the fuck did I do to end up dealing with people who made snap decisions and NEVER giving me choices? I hate not having a choice. It's why I always give people a choice. I hate/loathe/detest not being given any notice. What do I get but workers who absolutely love giving "effective immediately" notices?
Guess what? I am done playing nice. I don't want to be nice anymore. Nice doesn't get me shit. Not even a teeny-tiny consideration about my feelings. I care about other people's feelings, but these other people's feeling which I so take care to nourish never give a shit about mine.
They say it doesn't cost anyone to be nice. They are absolutely wrong. It cost me a lot when people stomp all over my feelings. I would just really like to know when I can quit. I want to take a break helping other people. I just want to live for a while only thinking happy thoughts about my kids and my husband.
I have enough other people's drama dripping/oozing into my life. Enough already! I am tired of it.
*Not talking about my husband either. He's great. He cares about my feeling. He's not even related to me.
7 comments:
i can relate so well,Shoshana...
just voice it out..it will pass and you`ll be surprised to relise that you are still as nice as you are before. :)
if they dont deserve your care,maybe its time for you to move on with your own life together with your kids and hubby :)
oopps,lots of typos and wrong grammar above,hehe,dont mind it..too sleepy and drowsy,LOL!
Thank you guys. It's strange, but a sympathetic ear/voice/words does help.
I am so trained not to be rude that I have to work at it to be absolutely rude. My parents did their job very well that it takes me quite a bit to get started...and really, it takes much too much effort!
"I have enough other people's drama dripping/oozing into my life."
I agree. I decided this for myself a few months ago and I am much happier.
I'm sorry about your situation.
-Shevon
I am working my way there. It's a goal. I think I like some space and distance because when it comes time for visiting it will be all light and fun, then I can go home to my corner, living the boring life I work for. I don't want to be part of it anymore even if it's just by accident.
being honest by telling them that you can only do this much for them is also sign of being nice. you can give up doing extra effort to please them and at the same time being honest that you can only offer the things that is convienient also on your side. i dont know if i got your post by the way i compose my comment. cheer up shoshana.
I don't know how many times I have said these words. I would stop being nice but I always reconsider. Well, not everyone is the same. I hope that you would reconsider :)
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