How Juicy Do You Want It?

Ghee tagged me with My Five “Juicy” secrets. It's a whooper of a tag. This is the 'I'm-going-to-get-naked-tag' without taking any clothes off.

This is a tough tag. I have secrets, but I don't think they're that juicy. Let me tell you my secrets.

1. Lazy Bladder
It's not a medical term. I have weak bladder muscles which gives me lots of problems growing up. It's my major reason to be glad for my mother's uber-protectiveness. Sleep-over? Seriously! When image is everything, I am saddled with this. It's a family secret. It's my secret which I was convinced this would kill me if anyone knew. Yep, I am a bed wetter growing up. It mortified me then, and it still does today. I could have an operation, but the risk is not worth it. I do like living. I don't like the odds of operating which wouldn't guarantee to fix my problem anyway. I was probably the only bedwetting cheerleader huh?

2. Someone
told my husband, of course he wasn't my husband yet at that time. On the day of the wedding, some took DH aside and informed him of my little secret. I mean, how sexy can a conversation be involving bedwetting? It's not like Sex and the City where peeing on someone is a thrill. I was an innocent! Geesh. Everyone who knew about it knew how I am so worried about it. I had decided to not drink any liquid at all past 3 PM ever. It works for those times when I have to be somewhere else. So, this someone told my DH (darling husband)-to-be to make sure he never ever jest or do anything to hurt or mortify me when it happens. It didn't happen for a long while. When it did, I wasn't embarrassed. But only because DH was/is great. He's the best! So, almost 16 years later, I am still wondering who that person is. My husband's not telling. I think it's my Lil Bro#1, but he's not telling either. This thought drives me nuts about once a year.

3. Grudges
I try not to hold grudges. I don't believe in "Forgive and Forget" either. Forgiving, yes! Forgetting? Are you nuts? What for? So the b*stard can do the same thing all over again? All I can truly say about this is, never threaten someone else's children's safety. It wouldn't go well for that child's mother. Not even if you think you're teaching a lesson and giving "help." Think of it as someone accusing a man of rape to teach him about patience.

4. Straightening
Something up makes me think better.

5. Hormones
I don't think my husband understood why I choose legation after my last (6th) pregnancy. I have 5 kids. Sure I almost died, but that was the least of it. I want to have more babies, but I also felt I was at the end of my ropes. I love being pregnant, but my hormones where driving me nuts. And suicidal. It scared me how many times my foot would jerk on my accelerator on tall bridges when I am driving alone. I get so overwhelmed. This is not me. I am not the overwhelmed type. Not about anything in particular, but just the whole thing. I knew cannot be in that place again where I would stand in front of my oven baking and thought about sticking my head in. Or when I am chopping onions and thought of how easy it is to sit in a trash bag somewhere and let and artery go. Even as I was thinking this, I don't want to do it anywhere near my children. I don't want to upset them. I think of this, and I am too embarrassed to tell anyone. No one knew. It wasn't depression either. My husband and my kids love me. I couldn't be gladder nothing happened. I couldn't really explain either because then I'd have to explain about all that. It was not so horrible, but I don't do suicidal thoughts! I felt like this spoiled kid who had everything and still was not satisfied. I love being pregnant, but I go through this since pregnancy #4. It goes away just as soon as I am done having my baby. I was afraid the next pregnancy might be the end of me.

So there, TMI! I have no idea whom to tag.

[Edit 10+ AM]
Tagging Ale, T-Girl, Ethel, Ev, Airah, and LhadyMitch
As always guys, you can say no. There isn't a hex attached to this tag or anything. :)